Intensive Mariage Counseling With Privacy
The Safe passage Strategy to Free You Both from Stuck Patterns of Behavior With an Intensive Marriage Counseling Cruise
Our strategy is to improve your relationship by employing several effective principles:
1) The environmental setting can help free you from your previously stuck emotional states.
A renewed sense of adventurous exploration can help you to break free from the stuck patterns of defensive behavior in your current relationship. Our Safe Passage Odyssey is designed to reignite the more free-spirited parts of yourselves with which you probably started your relationship.
2) Intersperse challenge and fun to decrease fear and increase cooperation.
Couples have limited emotional resources. Having periodic fun can make the hard work less taxing. Experiencing fun around each other can also reduce the usual tension in a troubled relationship.
3) Individualized attention is most effective for your unique relationship problems.
Not all relationships are the same and it would be very limiting to use the cookie-cutter strategy of sitting you in a group. An individualized approach is superior because it lets us focus on where your relationship needs the most attention. The intensive marriage counseling will also be totally private.
4) Relationship problems occur on different levels. Effective interventions often require different kinds of learning:
Knowledge - A relationship can fall out of balance because one or both partners hold erroneous beliefs or are unaware of what a relationship requires. On this level, the couple can be educated about how to better maintain their relationship. Special skills or training aren’t required. This involves learning in what is called “semantic memory.”
Skill – A relationship may be in trouble because partners need to perform certain activities that they don’t have the skills to perform. Merely knowing what should be done isn’t enough. A partner might know what they should do but they find they don’t have the skill or can’t even remember how to adequately perform in the moment. Conflict management often requires self-soothing skills that have to be trained into “performance memory.”
Capacity – It’s a myth that all relationship problems are about communication. Sometimes a partner hasn’t sufficiently evolved an important part of their personality. “emotional intelligence”, “level of consciousness”, “theory of mind”, level of integration, insight, wisdom and empathy are all terms that involve a broader level of learning beyond skill. They all involve the ability to view the world from a more evolved perspective. Limitations of capacity can have profound effects on a relationship and there are no quick fixes. However, partners can be shown how to plan their own program for growing capacity over time.
Each Safe Passage Odyssey includes:
- Analysis of how each of your backgrounds may be limiting your relationship.
- Assessment of which covert inhibitions are blocking important emotional states.
- Psycho-education about fundamental relationship responsibilities:
- Healing old wounds that interfere with optimal behavior
- Nourishing the relationship through healthy attachment
- Protecting your partner, yourself and your relationship from emotional injury
- Exercising and growing your emotional capacity
- Psycho-education about meta-motivational states
- Psycho-education about managing money and chores
- Tools for burying old resentments
- Intimacy exercises to explore reattachment
- Tools for “getting close” with your partner
- Tools for benign distancing when you need privacy
- Tools for managing healthy conflict
- Tools for stopping dysfunctional conflict
- Tools for shifting emotional states
- Tools and recommendations for continued emotional growth
In addition to the above, each 7 day Safe Passage Odyssey also includes:
- Training and practice of the “micro-correction” technique for neutralizing emotional injury so that it doesn’t accumulate
- Practice of conflict management skills in staged mock conflicts
- Assessment of your own core values which will help you stabilize your relationship
- Training and practice of “autonomy shifting” of your attention in order to protect yourself when facing someone’s disapproval
- Additional intimacy exercises to deepen your mutual sense of reconnection.
- Personal sharing with both Bryce & Helen to help model and exemplify principles taught during the odyssey.
Read more about Safe Passage Odysseys:
Click here to go to the Marriage First Aid website and read Dr. Kaye's recommendations for marriage help even if you don't need intensive marriage counseling..
Dr. Kaye explains some little-known relationship truths.
